One Day At A Time

Incase you are wondering……………I haven’t blogged in a while because I’m not a very happy person right now.  I didn’t think you’d want to hear all of my negative bitchy bantering………….

Lately, I can’t seem to have one positive thought……….I wake up in the morning and voices are going off in my head………..all bitchy stuff…………As soon as Ethan says a word - I start mocking him in my head - really stupid stuff……….It could be something as simple as………he’ll walk in the bathroom and say “good morning” and I’ll say “morning” and in my head this voice will say (what’s so good about it dumbass)………….

I must be paying for some of the bad stuff that I’ve done in my lifetime…………….I woke up this morning late (my alarm clock didn’t go off)……………I had to make the coffee twice………because the first batch was ruined from a faulty filter.  Have you ever had that happen to you?  Nothing sucks more than to get out of bed late and you are so tired…………all you can think about is coffee…………give me coffee……………….once you finally get to pour that cup……………it’s filled with coffee grounds…………….what a f*cking mess to clean up that early in the morning……………..

And that’s another thing…………..I have been cussing so bad………….I think it’s funny that when I get home………I stop cussing…………in other words…………I know that I can control it………I just do it because it feels so good.  Why does it feel good? 

It’s because I’m mean, bitchy and irritable and I dont like anyone…………..so there! 

Here’s the scary thing - I just realized……………….duh???  It’s my PMS week.  OK - now I feel better………………whew!  I thought I was going psycho for minute…………….all of this anger………….I was starting to get concerned.

Today, I went to Sally’s Beauty supply and bought some hair extensions.  This has to be the stupidist thing I have done in a while but has led me into a very enlightening experience.

The older I get……..the more my hair changes………..it won’t grow in length anymore……..the texture is changing……it’s thinning out a little………..so I had the bright idea of getting hair extensions to see if I could lengthen and thicken my hair……….

I looked like a 40 year old woman trying to look 18………….in other words, the long shiny hair didn’t match the maturity in my face.  It was awful.

Looking at myself………..realizing that this is it………….I realized that I am finally at a place in my life when I can stop focusing on my outer appearance…………now I can focus on my inner me……………

I started asking myself………why was it so important for my hair to look long and thick………..and I realized………..it was purely vanity.  Once again, I am learning the lesson that beauty is on the inside not the outside.  Who am I trying to impress anyway? 

 
I realize that it all comes back to a habit I picked up as a teenage girl……..trying to be accepted by appearances………it is strange how some of the habits we pick up, we hang on to and we don’t even realize that we have them………until we get older…………I guess that’s why they call it growing up………….

The bright side of this day…………I had to face the fact that what I’ve got is who I am………..so I’ll make the best of it. 

 

Looks fade……………….the heart remains…………..besides if you have a good heart - it can make anyone………… beautiful………..no matter how old you are………………

Last week, Blake received the Good Citizens award.  Only two students in the entire school were selected.  We are very proud of him. 

This is the best picture we could get……….the room was crowded. 

Now explain to me………….how he can be such a good boy and yet, when I opened the pantry - I found that this is how he opens a box of fruit snacks……….?

This hole started out much smaller and becomes bigger as the week progresses.  I dont know if he was starving at the time and just started digging……….I cant figure out how digging a hole in the box was easier than opening the top of it……………..it must have to do with destruction………….boys love to be destructive…………

On Sunday,  Eman was in a silly mood………..he took great pleasure in embarrasing Blake and I during a trip to Target.

Ethan has real “fart” sounds downloaded onto his cell phone……………….and as we were walking around………every time someone passed us - he would play a fart sound………LOUD! 

Blake kept walking far away ………he was mad.  Blake is my only son that doesn’t find farts that funny.  As a matter of fact, he rarely farts……..but I couldn’t help but to giggle.  People kept looking at Ethan …………… Nobody laughed - just Eman…………..cracking himself up.

Chad came over Sunday night for dinner.  It was awesome. I miss him so much. 

Chris has been in trouble all week………..school work.  Chris decided that English wasn’t that important this 6 weeks.  He failed to turn in a project that counted as a test grade.  When we asked him why he didn’t do the assignment, he said…….”I didn’t want to…….it was too much work”.  I was furious………………still am. 

Needless to say, he has no social life at this point……and if he doesn’t pull this grade up before end of 6 weeks………….no PS2 or PSP or MySpace and the cell phone will be limited……………….do you think that’s too much? 

Maybe I should just beat him………..that would be a real sight to see……..he is an entire foot taller than me………..and besides, the last time I tried to wrestle a teenager - it didn’t turn out good…………..

OKAY - enough about the family life………………..I want to talk about Panty Hose.  Did you know………

The actress-dancer Ann Miller devised pantyhose in the 1940s as a solution to the problem of continual torn stockings during the filming of dance production numbers.

In 1959, Allen Gant Sr. of Glen Raven Mills introduced pantyhose. 

In 1965, Glen Raven Mills introduced a seam-free version of pantyhose, which coincided with the introduction of the miniskirt.

Starting sometime in the 90s, pantyhose went almost completely out of fashion. Until recently, women, in general no longer wore pantyhose unless it was mandated by dress code, typically found at corporate companies and executive level.

However, in the mid-to-late ’00s of this century, pantyhose have been appearing once again in fashion and in public.

My question is………..why didn’t someone tell me that panty hose went out of style in the 90s?  Oh well, it doesn’t matter - I have to wear panty hose to hide the hail damage on my ass………..

I say “Ladies Only” because men don’t understand this subject…..so I dont want them to get a brain cramp.

Yesterday, while I was at work……….I received a wonderful text message from my wonderful husband……..it said, Your Getting Naked Tonight………….I replied back…………..K.

So the day goes on…………..and when he got home………….he went straight to changing clothes and doing the yard work………….

Once he came back in, he took a shower………. homework was finished and dinner was on the table……………he ate.

Then he pulled out his laptop and searched the internet the rest of the evening…………..we maybe said 5 words to each other.  ( Eman is not asian………..but he looked just like this guy in the picture the entire night)

Blake and I were playing and tickling each other…………….E-man kept getting on to us for being too loud………..you have to concentrate when your surfing, you know………………….

So it came bedtime………….I put Blake to bed……………..and then I went to get ready for bed ………..

I put my pajamas on and climbed into bed and realized that there was no way in hell I was getting naked……..

Ethan peeked his head in the bedroom door and said, “Well……?” (as if he already knew the answer)
I said………”You know - I dont feel like……….I’m not feeling the connection……….”  He rolled his eyes………..and said “ok”………….

I have to laugh because…………….I realized how much of a woman I really am…………………..It’s true… for a woman……..making love starts in the kitchen…………….you can’t go through the entire night and ignore me and then expect to get lucky………………….now if I were a man…………..he definitely would have scored.

Now keep in mind…………..this isn’t typical for the Eman…………coming up on 10 years of being together………I’m certainly not going to let it start now…………….

Journey is coming in concert this summer.  They are coming with Heart and Cheap Trick.  Sounds fun - doesn’t it…………NOT!  I realized after hearing this news that I am not a Journey fan……………..I am a Steve Perry………and that’ s it.

Journey as a new lead singer……………again.

I will admit that this guy has a nice story…………..Neal Schon found him on YouTube……………great for the new guy!  Whatever……………..Steve Perry is Journey and that is final.

Arnel Pineda was discovered on YouTube. JOURNEY announced that they selected Arnel Pineda as their new lead singer. Pineda replaces Jeff Scott Soto, who parted ways with the band earlier this year after stepping in for Steve Augeri, who had to leave the band in 2006 for medical reasons.

Sammy Hagar worked for Van Halen because he had already built his name in the industry.  AC/DC’s replacement worked because their first guy is dead! 

Neal Schon and Jonathan Cain need to pull their heads out of their a** and just do what Steve says…………otherwise, they dont stand a chance at seeing #1 on the charts ever again……………….but most importantly, I may not see Steve.

I cant even go see them in concert anymore…………….it feels like betrayal……………….

I’m not sure what that really says about myself as a person…………….there are so many other things in life that I should have strong convictions over……………….hmmmm……………..I’m going to have to think on this one awhile.

Friday night, we went to Six Flags.  You know you’re getting older when roller coasters don’t excite you anymore.  My body doesn’t want to cooperate.  My mind wants to …………but I know my body is going to disagree.

Saturday, we got up early and drove 5 hours to visit my sister in Kerville.  We had a great time - even though we only stayed for what seemed like one minute………..

Melissa and Trevor have the best group of friends.  These are the people we go on the annual river trip with……………….There are about 8 couples and their children and it is amazing.  I have never seen anything like it………………They all love each other like family - unconditionally……….faults and all.  In fact, they are all different…………….different personalities………….different life styles……………I hope they can see how special the group is………….I wonder if it can last.  It is a real testimony to what true friendship is and I wonder if they realize how lucky they are…………….I truly love them………..they are amazing to me.

D and J

The pink shorts were found in the river………….the yellow shirt is really his………….the weiner…….I’m not sure.

Sunday, we drove home for 5 hours and rushed to get everything done before the new week kicked in. I never understand how driving for 5 hours can make you so tired……….all you’re doing is sitting.

Today - the only great thing about Monday is………. it is my Latin Dance night………..I have been going on Monday nights for the last month.  The instructor is a Cuban chick named Naomi……….she is young and cute and very limber…….this girl can move.  I use to think I could dance until I started attending this class…………..then one night…..a got a glimpse of myself in the mirror……………it wasn’t pretty.  I don’t look in the mirror anymore.  I think it’s funny that in my mind……….I just knew I looked “hot”…………..”smokin”……………I was wrong.

Today is the first day of Spring break.  Blake has gone for the week to stay with my parents - in the country.  I know he is going to have a blast. 

Blake was born in the city but was meant to be a country boy.  (this picture was taken 3 years ago)

Leaving him today was hard………..a lot harder than I imagined.  He kept hugging me bye and wouldn’t let go………..I had a lump in my throat when I drove away. 

I dont know if that’s because I am going to miss him………..or if it’s because I have to learn how to exist in the house with only Ethan. 

I’m not sure if we’ll know how to react without children around.  I’m not sure who we are when we’re not parenting………….this is going to be an interesting week.

This will be a good week to show us what our life will be like without kids………….

 

Oh crap………I just realized I forgot to send him with his pillows and blanket………….I wonder if he’ll notice………..???

I have tried to sit down and blog…………but believe it or not………….I just didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say. 

The month of February flew by……………I had a birthday………….39.  Cindy Crawford is also 39…….damn……..I wish I could say that I’ve held up that well.

Ashley Judd, Brendan Fraser, Celine Dion, Debra Messing, Jay-Z, Jennifer Aniston, Kenny Chesney, Faith Hill, Lisa Loeb, Lucy Lui, Marilyn Manson, Mark McGrath, Owen Wilson, Rachel Ray, Ricki Lake, Ron Goldman and Will Smith…………all 39 years old……………………..okay, that makes me feel a little better.  I just needed to make sure that everyone else was getting older with me.

What else can I say…………I really have no creative way to tell you all of these things……..so I’m just going to lay it all out there for you………….in the month of February - we have all been sick, my birthday, bailed my oldest son out of jail, Blake spoke at the City Town Hall meeting and met the Mayor, Chris is driving again -once Ethat cut off the front end of his car and replaced it, my husband’s company went under ( he hasn’t been without a job since he was 13), my job has been very stressful (working more hours), paid $700 to have my car worked on, I was in a hit and run (not hurt - just pissed off and highly convinced that I could have kicked that grown man’s ass - if I could have caught him - and yes, I chased the mother fluffer - until the 911 operator told me to stop)………………..

You see………….this is one of the many reasons I named my blog One Day At A Time……….I should go back to blogging atleast once a week…………..it feels good to get this off my chest.  Do you know how it feels to have a stomach ache - and you know if you’ll just throw up……….you’ll feel better?  That is what blogging does for me………..

Marriage……………..what were we thinking?  Who created such a rotten trick?  And for those of us who have done it more than once…………….well, we’re just dumb asses.  I have decided to look at marriage differently.  I am going to use my marriage to teach me how to be a better person. 

After all, most of my hateful, mean, nasty stuff comes out because he pisses me off……………so - I’m going to try and use my husbands faults to make me a better person……….luckily he doesn’t have many………only one really.

Every one of us have to deal with something in a marriage or serious relationship…………maybe you married a heavy drinker, a self-centered lazy ass shit, a control freak ego maniac, a pervert who cant keep his hands off your ass and treats you like a piece of meat to stick his pecker in, a hot tempered ass, etc…..

And if you’re a dude………….maybe you married a naggy bitch, a control freak shit head, a jealous psycho, a prude who wont spread her legs now that you put that ring on her finger leaving you to beat off in the shower, etc………..

I say…….take the yukky stuff and use it to come up higher……….and be a better person.  It’s not like they don’t have any good qualities or else you wouldn’t still be there.

For example,

You’ve been working all day to come home and cook dinner and take care of the kids - you’re exhausted. 
As soon as you turn around………..little Johnny dropped his food on the floor and as soon as you bend over to clean it up………here comes Daddy……….grabs you by the waste and gives you a little bump in the butt and says, “now that’s what I’m talking about”………….then he proceeds to open the fridge - grab a beer - plop his fat ass on the recliner and turns on the t.v………….

Here’s what you do………….giggle……and say, “honey, you’re so funny…….you better watch it - you might get lucky tonight” (while inside I know what your thinking……..I know you want to bitch slap him……..but dont do it………just use it to come up higher………..I bet you cant do it).

Another example,

You’ve been working hard all day to come home to your wife.  She’s a stay at home mom……….as soon as you walk in the door - the house is a wreck, she looks like hammered dog poop and she says, “why are you late?  where have you been?  what did you do for lunch?  what’s wrong?  did you check the mail?  have you paid the credit card bills?  i need to get my nails done.  why are you so quiet?  dont you love me anymore?  you dont love me anymore!  do you?”  

Here is my suggestion to you………..answer every question with kindness and gentleness and consider it a challenge - and if you get every question right - you might when a prize ………..use it to come up higher……….you’re stuck with her - so you might as well use her to better yourself. 

This last Saturday night, I went over to my aunt Pam’s house and we were watching tv………Pam is more like a big sister to me.  As we sat there watching tv -  she turned to this movie called the Hitcher  -  very scary movie…….and gross……………

She asked me if I’d seen it before…………as I’m sitting there watching it through my fingers………….I told her………”no way……..you know me - I like romance and mysteries”……………

She says, “Hell, no - that shit aint real - I dont watch chick flicks - it’s all a bunch of bullshit”.
I said, ” I know - that’s why I watch them - they make my fantasies better”.
She said, “I have an easier time believing this scary shit can happen than true love” and we both laughed our asses off……………….

How true………………I think most of us could believe there was some scary ass man hitch hiking and killing people………….more than we can believe in the true love we see in the movies……………sad isn’t it.

2008 has not started off so great after all……………I have been surrounded by death and illnesses…………

Im not joking - Ethan had a friend pass away - then 3 days later, I had a friend whose husband passed away - and then another one of our friends had a mother pass away………..

Blake was sick for an entire week……..

…….and now my left ear is clogged - luckily it doesn’t hurt. But the only thing I can hear out of it  - is myself talking. 

Which I find very funny - because every time I hear myself talk - I start to get on my own nerves………..hahahaha…………..no - seriously!

 

I did get to talk to my sister a couple of days ago.  We had a great talk -for about 20 minutes. 

Once we hung up…………….I had to laugh. 

We are usually talking on our cell phones while we drive to work. 

Picture this……………..here I am sitting in a car on an 8 lane highway - concrete as far as the eye can see……………everyone around you is driving 70 to 80 mph.

I stop talking……..in the middle of our conversation……….and shout, “move out of the way - you mother fluffer!!!”

Now - here’s my sister…..driving to work on a 2 lane country road - winding up and down hills - looking at the beautiful scenery of trees.
 

and all of a sudden she stops……….in the middle of our conversation…………and says in a calm sweet voice….
” go ahead little deer……….aawwww - he’s cute”.