Use What You've Got
Marriage.................what were we thinking? Who created such a rotten trick? And for those of us who have done it more than once................well, we're just dumb asses. I have decided to look at marriage differently. I am going to use my marriage to teach me how to be a better person.
After all, most of my hateful, mean, nasty stuff comes out because he pisses me off...............so - I'm going to try and use my husbands faults to make me a better person..........luckily he doesn't have many.........only one really.
Every one of us have to deal with something in a marriage or serious relationship............maybe you married a heavy drinker, a self-centered lazy ass shit, a control freak ego maniac, a pervert who cant keep his hands off your ass and treats you like a piece of meat to stick his pecker in, a hot tempered ass, etc.....
And if you're a dude.............maybe you married a naggy bitch, a control freak shit head, a jealous psycho, a prude who wont spread her legs now that you put that ring on her finger leaving you to beat off in the shower, etc...........
I say.......take the yukky stuff and use it to come up higher..........and be a better person. It's not like they don't have any good qualities or else you wouldn't still be there.
For example,
You've been working all day to come home and cook dinner and take care of the kids - you're exhausted.
As soon as you turn around...........little Johnny dropped his food on the floor and as soon as you bend over to clean it up.........here comes Daddy..........grabs you by the waste and gives you a little bump in the butt and says, "now that's what I'm talking about".............then he proceeds to open the fridge - grab a beer - plop his fat ass on the recliner and turns on the t.v.............
Here's what you do.............giggle......and say, "honey, you're so funny.......you better watch it - you might get lucky tonight" (while inside I know what your thinking........I know you want to bitch slap him........but dont do it.........just use it to come up higher...........I bet you cant do it).
Another example,
You've been working hard all day to come home to your wife. She's a stay at home mom..........as soon as you walk in the door - the house is a wreck, she looks like hammered dog poop and she says, "why are you late? where have you been? what did you do for lunch? what's wrong? did you check the mail? have you paid the credit card bills? i need to get my nails done. why are you so quiet? dont you love me anymore? you dont love me anymore! do you?"
Here is my suggestion to you...........answer every question with kindness and gentleness and consider it a challenge - and if you get every question right - you might when a prize ...........use it to come up higher..........you're stuck with her - so you might as well use her to better yourself.
This last Saturday night, I went over to my aunt Pam's house and we were watching tv.........Pam is more like a big sister to me. As we sat there watching tv - she turned to this movie called the Hitcher - very scary movie.......and gross...............
She asked me if I'd seen it before............as I'm sitting there watching it through my fingers.............I told her........."no way........you know me - I like romance and mysteries"...............
She says, "Hell, no - that shit aint real - I dont watch chick flicks - it's all a bunch of bullshit".
I said, " I know - that's why I watch them - they make my fantasies better".
She said, "I have an easier time believing this scary shit can happen than true love" and we both laughed our asses off...................
How true..................I think most of us could believe there was some scary ass man hitch hiking and killing people.............more than we can believe in the true love we see in the movies...............sad isn't it.
After all, most of my hateful, mean, nasty stuff comes out because he pisses me off...............so - I'm going to try and use my husbands faults to make me a better person..........luckily he doesn't have many.........only one really.
Every one of us have to deal with something in a marriage or serious relationship............maybe you married a heavy drinker, a self-centered lazy ass shit, a control freak ego maniac, a pervert who cant keep his hands off your ass and treats you like a piece of meat to stick his pecker in, a hot tempered ass, etc.....
And if you're a dude.............maybe you married a naggy bitch, a control freak shit head, a jealous psycho, a prude who wont spread her legs now that you put that ring on her finger leaving you to beat off in the shower, etc...........
I say.......take the yukky stuff and use it to come up higher..........and be a better person. It's not like they don't have any good qualities or else you wouldn't still be there.
For example,
You've been working all day to come home and cook dinner and take care of the kids - you're exhausted.
As soon as you turn around...........little Johnny dropped his food on the floor and as soon as you bend over to clean it up.........here comes Daddy..........grabs you by the waste and gives you a little bump in the butt and says, "now that's what I'm talking about".............then he proceeds to open the fridge - grab a beer - plop his fat ass on the recliner and turns on the t.v.............
Here's what you do.............giggle......and say, "honey, you're so funny.......you better watch it - you might get lucky tonight" (while inside I know what your thinking........I know you want to bitch slap him........but dont do it.........just use it to come up higher...........I bet you cant do it).
Another example,
You've been working hard all day to come home to your wife. She's a stay at home mom..........as soon as you walk in the door - the house is a wreck, she looks like hammered dog poop and she says, "why are you late? where have you been? what did you do for lunch? what's wrong? did you check the mail? have you paid the credit card bills? i need to get my nails done. why are you so quiet? dont you love me anymore? you dont love me anymore! do you?"
Here is my suggestion to you...........answer every question with kindness and gentleness and consider it a challenge - and if you get every question right - you might when a prize ...........use it to come up higher..........you're stuck with her - so you might as well use her to better yourself.
This last Saturday night, I went over to my aunt Pam's house and we were watching tv.........Pam is more like a big sister to me. As we sat there watching tv - she turned to this movie called the Hitcher - very scary movie.......and gross...............
She asked me if I'd seen it before............as I'm sitting there watching it through my fingers.............I told her........."no way........you know me - I like romance and mysteries"...............
She says, "Hell, no - that shit aint real - I dont watch chick flicks - it's all a bunch of bullshit".
I said, " I know - that's why I watch them - they make my fantasies better".
She said, "I have an easier time believing this scary shit can happen than true love" and we both laughed our asses off...................
How true..................I think most of us could believe there was some scary ass man hitch hiking and killing people.............more than we can believe in the true love we see in the movies...............sad isn't it.
